That was a long time to hold my tongue!! I just got tired of writing posts without being able to say what I really felt.
This had been a very trying time for me/us. MANY job applications, several interviews, and finally.....the offer!! I will be moving to New York this November. I am very proud of how we both have handled this long distance marriage, although not all of my moments were so glamorous. There were several irrational, emotional, crazy, and maybe even a little bit jealous times I have experienced during this time. But, as many like to say, everything happens for a reason. I think we have grown, both as individuals and as a couple. There are about a million things we need to figure out/decide in the next few weeks and months but we are slowly but surely figuring it out. I know a lot of you have prayed for us over the last two years and we hope that you continue to think about us as we maneuver this next phase of our lives.
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Monday, September 12, 2011
Preparing and waiting.....
In 15 days, Austin will be home. It's kinda funny how I have prepared for Austin's trips home since he left. I look around the house to make some progress on small projects and make plans to have the entire house clean including clean sheets, no dirty laundry, AND a clean pet. I make every effort to guarantee no mundane distractions take away from our time together.
Austin's birthday was a disappointment for me, even if it wasn't a disappointment for him. Even though it wasn't my birthday, I wanted to spend that special day with him. But, we shall persevere.
What was even worse was all this 9-11 anniversary coverage. I watched a ton of the coverage and remembrance of the event over the weekend. Austin's building is only a few blocks away from ground zero. So, as I continued to inundate myself with scary emotional accounts of that day, I became increasingly concerned for Austin's safety today and in the future. Austin is one of those guys that thinks things are not that big of a deal. I heard a voicemail from someone's husband in tower 2 after the first plane hit tower 1. He said he was ok, the plane just hit tower 1 and he would probably be at work and busy all day. What a tragedy! But, ARE YOU KIDDING ME! If the building immediately adjacent to mine was hit by a plane, you betcha I'd be the first one sprinting out of that building and as far away as I could get. What scares me is that Austin does not usually have my kind of reaction, he has that husband's reaction.
I know you can't live your life in fear and that you never know what is dangerous until it is. But, that doesn't stop me from worrying. I can't IMAGINE my life without Austin. He may be 1,500 miles away, but he's still here. And, I can't wait until he's HERE!
Austin's birthday was a disappointment for me, even if it wasn't a disappointment for him. Even though it wasn't my birthday, I wanted to spend that special day with him. But, we shall persevere.
What was even worse was all this 9-11 anniversary coverage. I watched a ton of the coverage and remembrance of the event over the weekend. Austin's building is only a few blocks away from ground zero. So, as I continued to inundate myself with scary emotional accounts of that day, I became increasingly concerned for Austin's safety today and in the future. Austin is one of those guys that thinks things are not that big of a deal. I heard a voicemail from someone's husband in tower 2 after the first plane hit tower 1. He said he was ok, the plane just hit tower 1 and he would probably be at work and busy all day. What a tragedy! But, ARE YOU KIDDING ME! If the building immediately adjacent to mine was hit by a plane, you betcha I'd be the first one sprinting out of that building and as far away as I could get. What scares me is that Austin does not usually have my kind of reaction, he has that husband's reaction.
I know you can't live your life in fear and that you never know what is dangerous until it is. But, that doesn't stop me from worrying. I can't IMAGINE my life without Austin. He may be 1,500 miles away, but he's still here. And, I can't wait until he's HERE!
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Update
Wow! So, it's been a long time since I posted. Austin was home in July and it's not going to be until Ed's wedding (October 1) that I see him again :( BOOOO! It will be the longest we haven't seen each other. But, we just take one day at a time and look forward to the time we will have together then. Anyways....something has been weighing heavily on my heart lately. Church.
As some of you may know, Austin is not the most avid church-goer but I'm not either. My church history has been sporadic at best. But, I always feel better when I go. Lately, I've been wanting to go by myself. But you can't really do that. Even if you go by yourself, you have to introduce yourself and get bombarded by some sort of welcoming crew. I know, I know, church is supposed to be about fellowship. But sometimes it's just about me and Him. I know, I know, that time should be attained through my quiet time. But I do enjoy being in a big group to worship. I just don't want anyone to talk to me. HAHA! It sounds weird to even type, but that's how I feel.
Anyway, I guess the stereo blasting worship session I have in my living room will have to do for now.
As some of you may know, Austin is not the most avid church-goer but I'm not either. My church history has been sporadic at best. But, I always feel better when I go. Lately, I've been wanting to go by myself. But you can't really do that. Even if you go by yourself, you have to introduce yourself and get bombarded by some sort of welcoming crew. I know, I know, church is supposed to be about fellowship. But sometimes it's just about me and Him. I know, I know, that time should be attained through my quiet time. But I do enjoy being in a big group to worship. I just don't want anyone to talk to me. HAHA! It sounds weird to even type, but that's how I feel.
Anyway, I guess the stereo blasting worship session I have in my living room will have to do for now.
Friday, July 1, 2011
I love my family!
I was just thinking today how much I love my extended family. We had really hard year with the deaths of my grandmother and aunt and have begun drifting apart without our big family get-togethers with my grandmother. That's where facebook has really come in handy. I am friends with numerous cousins on facebook and get to keep up with their daily lives through their posts on facebook (I kind of literally stalk my facebook news feed to keep me entertained during the work day). I probably know more about what's going on in their lives now than I ever did before.
Monday, June 6, 2011
Summary
(BTW, can you tell I feel like writing today!?)
So, I've realized that my last few posts haven't been directly linked to the title of my blog, "My Life as a Kilgore". They have been about the people who made me who I am today and showed me the wife I want to be. I want to be a wife with all the passion, activity, and generosity of my dad and with the patience, understanding, and camaraderie of my mom. Not that either one of them don't have ALL of these qualities, but those are the ones that stand out to me in my relationship with them.
Surprisingly, my brother has also shaped the kind of women I am today. From the very first day I knew I was going to be a big sister, I was ecstatic. After all, it was going to be like having a real live baby doll!! Right!? Not exactly. But, I did take the big sister roll very seriously. I did, and still do, feel a strong drive to protect and advise him. Now that he is all grown up, we are still very close and hope to be that way forever.
I also have been shaped by my friends. I have some of the most amazing childhood friends that I am still close to today. I think that kind of committed and deep friendship creates a certain stability and empowerment in my life. I also have amazing friends from college, which is hard to believe was 6 years ago. Those friendship seem to have given me confidence and passion. Leaving home was very difficult for me, especially given the aforementioned great childhood friends. But, continuing to build new great friendships only further expands my horizons and gives me great comfort.
And how can I forget my new family. That is, after all, the biggest change of my life as a Kilgore. They have been so accepting of me and I look forward to the additional support I will have in my life from them.
So, I've realized that my last few posts haven't been directly linked to the title of my blog, "My Life as a Kilgore". They have been about the people who made me who I am today and showed me the wife I want to be. I want to be a wife with all the passion, activity, and generosity of my dad and with the patience, understanding, and camaraderie of my mom. Not that either one of them don't have ALL of these qualities, but those are the ones that stand out to me in my relationship with them.
Surprisingly, my brother has also shaped the kind of women I am today. From the very first day I knew I was going to be a big sister, I was ecstatic. After all, it was going to be like having a real live baby doll!! Right!? Not exactly. But, I did take the big sister roll very seriously. I did, and still do, feel a strong drive to protect and advise him. Now that he is all grown up, we are still very close and hope to be that way forever.
I also have been shaped by my friends. I have some of the most amazing childhood friends that I am still close to today. I think that kind of committed and deep friendship creates a certain stability and empowerment in my life. I also have amazing friends from college, which is hard to believe was 6 years ago. Those friendship seem to have given me confidence and passion. Leaving home was very difficult for me, especially given the aforementioned great childhood friends. But, continuing to build new great friendships only further expands my horizons and gives me great comfort.
And how can I forget my new family. That is, after all, the biggest change of my life as a Kilgore. They have been so accepting of me and I look forward to the additional support I will have in my life from them.
Kinda missed Mother's Day
Now that my last post turned into a Father's Day post, not that I intended it to when I sat down to write it, I think I want to do one about my mom. I missed Mother's Day because I was in Cabo (and I will also miss Father's Day :( ). But my mom always says not to worry about it because she knows we love her, which is so like her. She doesn't sweat the small stuff. Plus, she doesn't really like getting gifts. I think she would prefer to get the joy out of finding a really great deal for most of the things she wants/needs. This makes shopping for her both incredibly difficult and easy because I have know idea what to get her but know whatever it is she will be fine with it.
She is the most long tempered person I know (if that's even a term, I think I've only heard people use the term short tempered). She is a great advice giver and will talk through almost any problem with me. But, even if you don't do what she thinks you should do, she calmly excepts it and moves on. Therefore, she rarely gets fired up about anything which really lets you know when something is a big deal to her. She also rarely gets angry at people. Where I would go on and on about how stupid, rude, or annoying someone is, she just says those attributes will only hinder their happiness and to move on. I've tried to learn this skill from her but that is a work in progress.
She is incredibly thoughtful. She begins her Christmas list in about February, taking notes here and there when you randomly say you like or want something. Then, magically it is there on Christmas day. Sometimes it seems like she read your mind because you don't even remember telling her what you wanted. I have also tried to begin doing this, but once again, that is a work in progress.
I know like it seems like I'm going on and on about my mom, but I don't think she gets credit sometimes. Most people who know me know that I am a daddy's girl and always will be. But, I still have a very close amazing relationship with my mom.
She is the most long tempered person I know (if that's even a term, I think I've only heard people use the term short tempered). She is a great advice giver and will talk through almost any problem with me. But, even if you don't do what she thinks you should do, she calmly excepts it and moves on. Therefore, she rarely gets fired up about anything which really lets you know when something is a big deal to her. She also rarely gets angry at people. Where I would go on and on about how stupid, rude, or annoying someone is, she just says those attributes will only hinder their happiness and to move on. I've tried to learn this skill from her but that is a work in progress.
She is incredibly thoughtful. She begins her Christmas list in about February, taking notes here and there when you randomly say you like or want something. Then, magically it is there on Christmas day. Sometimes it seems like she read your mind because you don't even remember telling her what you wanted. I have also tried to begin doing this, but once again, that is a work in progress.
I know like it seems like I'm going on and on about my mom, but I don't think she gets credit sometimes. Most people who know me know that I am a daddy's girl and always will be. But, I still have a very close amazing relationship with my mom.
It's been a while...
Wow, can't believe it's been almost a month since I posted....OPPS. I guess it's because nothing exciting has really been going on. You know, the usual, yard work, car work, work work.
This weekend, my dad and I replaced my catalytic converter and then I changed my oil. Anytime I tell someone that I am doing something like this to my car, they are so amazed that I know how to do something other than put gas in my car. But I tell, its really not that difficult. To replace by catalytic converter literally consisted of removing and replacing 7 bolts under the car. And changing oil is even simpler. I do realize that for most cars you need a jack and jack stands to do this and a few tools. You also get a little dirty in the process. But, if you have had a car that requires fully synthetic oil, you know that those $20 oil changes are not your reality. So, I think it's worth it.
Plus, it means quality time with my dad. With father's day coming up, I've been trying to think of a good gift. Everytime I ask my dad what he wants for his birthday, Christmas, or Father's Day, he can never come up with anything. But it never fails that when we work on cars he comes up with something he really wants or could really use. Plus, God only knows how much money he has saved me helping me with my car. He may give me a hard time about it sometimes, but he is really one of the most generous people I know.
This weekend, my dad and I replaced my catalytic converter and then I changed my oil. Anytime I tell someone that I am doing something like this to my car, they are so amazed that I know how to do something other than put gas in my car. But I tell, its really not that difficult. To replace by catalytic converter literally consisted of removing and replacing 7 bolts under the car. And changing oil is even simpler. I do realize that for most cars you need a jack and jack stands to do this and a few tools. You also get a little dirty in the process. But, if you have had a car that requires fully synthetic oil, you know that those $20 oil changes are not your reality. So, I think it's worth it.
Plus, it means quality time with my dad. With father's day coming up, I've been trying to think of a good gift. Everytime I ask my dad what he wants for his birthday, Christmas, or Father's Day, he can never come up with anything. But it never fails that when we work on cars he comes up with something he really wants or could really use. Plus, God only knows how much money he has saved me helping me with my car. He may give me a hard time about it sometimes, but he is really one of the most generous people I know.
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